'She's not my best friend, she's just a coworker': Partner questions relationship between significant other and female coworker after they stay out until midnight together

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 25, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

This person is pretty sure — but not 100% certain — that their partner is cheating on them with a coworker, according to this text exchange.  

Even when the writing is on the wall in a relationship, you can't always see it for yourself in the moment. Sometimes you need a trusted friend, or in lieu of that, a huge number of people on the internet, to set you straight. 

If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, you may have a hard time figuring out if you should confront them or not. It messes with your head. Are they being distant? Or are they just busy with their own life? Are they cozying up to a new coworker, or just being friendly? It can make you question everything about your dating life with them. Did they always come home so late and hop right in the shower, or is your mind playing tricks on you? 

Worse still, if you bring these things up to them, they'll probably just deflect the criticisms. For this person, confronting their partner went pretty poorly. They keep texting this person about their new female coworker. Apparently, the coworker's BF cheated on her, so to cheer her up, this person's S.O. is comforting her at a bar… until midnight… and they won't tell this person the location of the bar, or who's driving them home… the whole text chain is shrouded in mystery. 

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  • 01

    'Am I overreacting about my partner’s relationship with their coworker?'

    Man in denim jacket puts arm around woman with black ponytail as they smile at each other, text messages with one person writing "she's just a coworker" followed by replies of "ok" and "so when are we all hanging out"
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Sometimes, seeing the way that peoples' partners talk to them is an absolute shock. Like dang, girl, you live like this?

    You wonder how they haven't dumped this awful dude yet. This person is a good example of that. Your partner is supposed to be crazy about you, they're supposed to be enamored with you. They're supposed to give you hugs and tuck your hair behind your ear and daydream about marrying you and growing old together. 

    When you've reached the relationship phase where that partner is accusing you of “surveillance” for asking what bar they're at, you just gotta leave that dude. There's no saving a relationship where the person resents you for caring about them. Read the writing on the wall (or rather, in the black text box in your messages) and then dump that person. Let them enjoy their late-night hangs with the coworker while you find someone who cherishes your presence. Let's hope that, with the encouragement from commenters, that this person did just that. 

  • 02
    3 8:20 Boston, MA hey babe i'm grabbing drinks at hh so you don't have to wait up huh اس hiii what do you mean? What about din? i'm just gonna eat out weren't we going to Bertie's...? who are you going to hh with?
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 03
    we can go another night just some coworkers COWORKER well duh lol but who ,, and a new guy ... ook like do you want me to stop by? I'm just confused because we had plans. You were busy Monday and I came
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 04
    ... ook like do you want me to stop by? I'm just confused because we had plans. You were busy Monday and I came home late yesterday so like I was really looking forward to seeing you tonight I'm sorry i'm just busy tonight it came up last minute i don't know what you except me to do it's a work thing
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 05
    Well can you leave early? I'll be home by 12 your happy hour goes til 12 How are you getting home babe can you relax? i'll be home later
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 06
    is your best friend gonna drive you again i'll see you later i'm so fucking over the surveillance The surveillance?? So I assume that's a yes ..unsent a message
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 07
    is gonna drive me back but she's not my best friend she's just a coworker ok so when are we all hanging out literally whenever can you at least try to be back
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 08
    before 12 so we can see each other a little before bed okay look this isn't my story to tell but you really need to chill out 's boyfriend cheated on her so we're just trying to support her
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 09
    omg :( poor for her I'm so sorry and that's really hard And I'm not trying to be insensitive But doesn't she have any non- work friends that she wants to be with? she's having a really hard time. i can't do this right now Delivered
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 10
    they've been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 11
    messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don't know whether I'm reading too much into this or if I'm overreacting but I've never met her
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 12
    and I've asked to swing by whatever bar or place they're hanging out at multiple times and I'm always shut down in some way or I get no response.
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 13
    I don't want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can't have any friends but lately they're always together and I'm getting blown off.
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 14
    These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it's always the type of response I get when I'm asking questions about an event where this female coworker is
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 15
    at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they're usually such a sweet
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 16
    and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating... am i overreacting??
    via u/Any-Confusion-5519
  • 17

    Commenters broke the news to this person... they're not overreacting at all

    islandgal8oh8 His "work thing" was comforting his female coworker after she'd been cheated on... at a bar until midnight??? Sounds like a really important and exclusive work thing.
    via u/islandgal8oh8
  • 18
    ada... I hate to say it, but if i had to bet your suspicions are right. The idea that he needs to hang out with this girl and making it sound like it's the noble thing to do is a red flag. Making you think there is a reason she is always around and making himself look good and compassionate at the same time.
    via u/adamspc1
  • 19
    MiniDrow Honey your man is playing you, and if he isn't he clearly doesn't give a damn about you. Sorry if I'm blunt but that's what it is. You're literally telling him you really want to see him, you'll even stop by the bar that he's at and yet he doesn't want you
    via u/MiniDrow
  • 20
    anywhere near it? Pretty sure the only cheating that's going on his him cheating on you. You're dating a prick, there are millions of guys out there that would love that type of attention from their girl. Leave his ass. He's a dick
    via u/MiniDrow

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